The New Year is unfolding and bringing with it new possibilities and hope. At least, I hope that is true. That is what I thought for 2020, but sadly I was really mistaken. Friends, what are your plans for this year in the realm of goals, resolutions, words, etc? Have you created a grand plan for 2021 or is low-key or maybe non-existent?
For 2020, my word was Present. Why? Because I’m always in the past or future but struggle to stay in here and now. Circumstances helped me to be more present in the moment, but I didn’t do check-ins or check-ups with myself to make sure I was really focused on being present. Such was the story for 2020.
This year, my word is Restore. I have already been sensing this word moving in my life. Being settled is a means of being restored to me. Yet, I know the direction in life is forward and things can be restored but they are different. When I was young, my grandpa restored old furniture. People would basically stand in line for him to do his magic. The pieces he restored were actually better than the original. This is my hope for this year.
To be honest, there are many aspects of life that I hope will be restored this year in one way or another. There are relationships, dreams, finances, hopes, faith, etc. that are all in need of repair. But the most pressing piece of life I hope will be restored this year is the relationship with my daughter and brother.
In a nutshell, my daughter moved back to Texas in 2019 and moved in with us. Things were going well until they weren’t. Then she angrily and secretly packed her bags and moved out. She literally disappeared and COVID caused a job loss {I assume} and I have yet to locate her. No response to texts or calls. Of course, as a mom, I had hopes and dreams for her and her life, but now my hope is that reconciliation will happen. Hope for a restored relationship will transpire this year. This is on my prayer list and I am listening for the Lord to speak and guide me in the pursuit.
My brother and I have never been close. Growing up we didn’t really get along or have any semblance of a relationship. My mom always said when she and my dad were gone, my brother would basically be my only family. Her wish was that we get along. All of the issues with my dad caused more of the chasm in our relationship. I did nothing to close up that chasm over the last year. However, he typically will send me a text on a holiday or birthday, etc. I respond and let it go. On Christmas, I decided to send the first text. He called me later and I answered. We had a nice conversation and stayed away from the prickly areas.
As you can see, the common denominator in these relationships is me. There is work for me to do to bring restoration and healing. And though it won’t be easy, I truly want to put the work in and see our family restored. Maybe it won’t happen but it surely won’t happen if I don’t even try! I’m not responsible for how others respond, but I am responsible for how I respond.
Wish me luck or better yet, please pray for me. I anticipate my own resistance and prideful heart to rear its head and for obstacles to arise, but this restoration is worth the effort and work! I’ll update as the year progresses on how Restore is unfolding in 2021.
~grace & blessings, Carrie
ShootingStarsMag says
I think this is a wonderful word for the year. That’s great you had a nice conversation with your brother on Christmas. Hopefully you can find some middle ground to have a nicer relationship. And I hope that you hear from your daughter soon and can mend that relationship. I totally agree with what you said about not being able to control how others respond, but you can control how YOU respond. So very true.
-Lauren
Carrie says
Thank you, Lauren, for your kind words…always positive. I appreciate it!
jodie filogomo says
Sending so much healing love and prayers your way Carrie. Sure, you can say the common denominator is you but it ALWAYS takes two. I learned that in my abusive marriage when I would blame myself for the behavior.
But I do think that realizing we DO have a role can be a huge factor. As an only child I don’t have the siblings issues, just the parent ones. But I see my husband deal with his siblings, and it’s NOT easy.
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Carrie says
Great words and perspective, Jodie! Thank you!
Leslie Susan Clingan says
Hope this year sees restoration for all of us in so many ways. Hoping you are able to reach out to and finally reach your daughter and begin the work on repairing that relationship. Hoping you can continue building an even better relationship with your brother. I have always been close to my brother and sister but this year has complicated things some. I love them both dearly and know we are on the same team as far as trying to do everything we can to make our mom’s life easier. But we see that as looking differently sometimes. Covid has certainly complicated life at every angle.
Carrie says
Thank you, Leslie! I have hope and faith…and prayer of course.
Lisa notes says
I had “Now” as my One Word a few years ago for the exact same reasons you state: I struggle to stay in the moment. I tend to head toward the future when God still has work for me here and now.
I love the word restore. It carries such hope and purpose. And I love that you have a memory attached to it with your grandpa restoring furniture. I think we all have things (and yes, relationships for me too!) that need restoring this year. Praying for restoration with your daughter and more contact with your brother. I appreciate you sharing your heart so openly, Carrie!